The Shower Problem
I’m starting to adjust to life in Manhattan on one leg - using Fresh Direct for groceries, budgeting extra time to get out of my apartment in the morning, coming to terms with wearing the same pair of NIKE slip on Mary Janes every day - but the most difficult adjustment so far is taking a shower.
I’ve come up with a system that works pretty well:
- Crutch over to the bathroom with my clean clothes balanced around my neck
- Swing my bad leg over the side of the tub and take off the brace
- Swing my good leg over the side of the tub and remove clothing
- Stand up on my good leg and turn on the water to get the temperature right
- Cringe while the water switches over to the shower and freezes for 3 seconds before getting warm again
- Shower
- Turn off the water, sit back down on the ledge of the tub and swing my legs back over to the other side to get out
- Crutch over to my clean clothes and voila! clean.
Here’s the thing: it is really awkward to be naked on crutches.
I live alone, so I’m no stranger to walking around naked, but there is something very strange about being naked on crutches. Maybe because if someone walked in I couldn’t cover myself up quickly? Maybe because being naked is supposed to be freeing and there is nothing freeing about my current state? These are the existential questions of life with a broken leg.
